Sh*t My Son Said

It’s quite trying to be a mom. I’ve often thought of the funny stuff my kids say with amusement and love. Recently though, my eldest son, has spoken some whoppers. He’s legally an adult at 18 yet has the reasoning of an adolescent. And as an adolescent, finds ways and means to justify his actions with some interesting “logical” thinking. I am not amused. Maybe one day I will be.

Last week he was suppose to be cleaning his room. My husband goes to check on him and his progress. Apparently, he is just relaxing in his room organizing his Magic cards. His room is “clean.” So my husband begins to point out areas and ask about their cleanliness.

H: “If I look in the closet, will that be organized?”
S: “Yes.”
H: “If I look under the bed, will that be clean?”
H: “So you are saying, if I look under the bed right now, it will be clean?”
S: “Don’t look under the bed.”


Yesterday, my son was asked to shovel the driveway for his elderly grandmother. He is there every day after school and just sits in front of the TV watching YouTube or playing Xbox, so my husband likes to try to keep him busy and not loafing around.

When my husband calls to check up on his progress, my mother-in-law tells my husband that my son decided to stop because he was sweating. My husband addresses this with our son when we get home.

H: “Why did you not complete the task I asked you to do?”
S: “I was sweating so I stopped.”
H: “What does sweating have anything to do with shoveling the rest of the driveway?”
S: “I learned in Boy Scouts that you should stop when you start sweating or you can get hypothermia and die.”
H: “Yes, in survival situations, not shoveling.”
S: “If there is anything I learned in Boy Scouts, that’s what I know they said.”
H: “I shoveled for four hours yesterday our driveway and helped the two neighbors shovel out their driveways and I was sweating and didn’t get hypothermia.”
S: “You shouldn’t have done that! You could have died!”


I hope I can look back on this and miss these smart-alecky statements. Have you kids said some doozies?