Behind the scenes of this craftmanic life, there has been joy and sorrow. I live a pretty great life, the American Dream life. I have a house with a white picket fence, two kids, a dog and cat, a job that I love and a partner who supports me and keeps me accountable. However, having this life also means that beyond the fence, there is reality to contend with.
The reality of my life, inside my head, lives depression. The subject has been brought into the media more so than ever. It’s not that people have just suddenly come down with depression, as if catching a cold. Before, I felt that the criticism was that people who have a mental illness just needed to “get over it” and move on. Yet, that’s not how this sickness works. I just can’t will it away.
I’ve now had to come to terms with this with my own child. My first born. The pride of my life. He was the catalyst of my adulthood. You see, I’ve been a parent my entire adult life. I found out I was pregnant at 18, had my son at 19, still very much a child myself, struggling with my demons. Now almost 18 years later, I have to watch him struggle with his and feel so powerless. I can’t just will it away.
This is intensely personal. This is very serious business. This is our reality. My son has attempted to take his life. With the onset of social media and all the news, I know many have been hearing about the numerous teen suicides there have been. Our town has been through several recently. And in my head, I just didn’t believe it could be my child as well.
We have been swept up with getting treatment for my son and it’s not easy. There are specialists and doctors and facilities and oh so much coordination to take care of. Not to mention the emotional trauma the family has to go through.
This is a journey. This is just the beginning. If you are or have been through this, we are not alone.