The Thief of Joy

I applied for a job a couple months ago. I didn’t really think I would get it but it was like a punch in the gut hearing from someone who worked there that it was noted on my application that I didn’t have enough experience. Regardless of what experience I do have and try to justify my position, I really took it to heart and translated it as “You’re not good enough.”

Rarely am I thrown off my square and feel it so deeply. My dreams were especially infiltrated. My beloved Jeep was stolen in my dream and I had another dream that I was driving erratically from the back seat. Usually I don’t remember my dreams so vividly. When I looked up the translations (There’s gotta be some truth to it!) they both indicated my insecurities about my identity and path in life. Whoa.

Seems like I need a bit of an overhaul in the confidence and self-esteem department.

I have several “self-help” books that I have collected or been gifted over the years. One is about excavating your true self, one is about living a more simple life and another about growing. These are the three I am currently reading sporadically. It seems to me that when I am in a rut about myself, I read them more often. The growth one is what I have been reading more of, “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth: Live Them and Reach Your Potential”.

But what potential? Whose thought of potential? Mine or others? I suppose it doesn’t really matter as long as I am moving in growing as a person. And in that growth, I am reminded that I am my own person, on her own path. The quote about comparison came up because I forgot that in a moment of indignation and jealousy/envy. Oh, how delicate a psyche is.

Anyway, I am gonna buck up and keep growing.

Speaking of growing, I have had a lot of projects in my queue that I have completed. Baby onesies, which are my faves to do, and some other odds and ends. I have a big sign decal to do for a local non-profit a friend brought to me and will be designing new shirts for a local food truck business. I am knitting a baby headband that I haven’t quite got the join satisfactory. I have knit this thing three times already. What are your favorite knit joins?

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I was organizing my stash and came across a bunch of started washcloths in my cottons so I decided to finish some off. Here is one that has that color pooling affect that people were just raving about. It looks sorta like an angry face lol! I love this stitch, the linen stitch, in crochet. I’m working on mastering it in my knits. The texture is just lovely!

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This was the first headband I had attempted. I tried to block the stockinette but acrylic just doesn’t really take to blocking. Like my makeshift blocking board? I thought I had a foam square somewhere from the kids’ playstuff. Apparently not. I will have to invest.

Anyway, it has taken me allllll day to finally get something down and so I shall conclude with this. Stay tuned for a finished headband lol! Have a great rest of the day.

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3 thoughts on “The Thief of Joy

  1. salpal1 says:

    Hurrah, you did it! Thanks for posting. 😝

    So sorry about the job. But listen, there are far worse things than not having enough experience. That can be worked on. But having a bad attitude or bad hygiene or any number of other things would be harder to fix. So keep growing, and you will get there.

    Joining… grafting? Might be soft enough. And i like the creative blocking board.

    • craftmanicmommy says:

      I did! Thanks for the inspiration! I don’t know if I had really wanted the job but to not be considered was hurtful….I will keep working on growing 🙂 ty. Will grafting leave a seam? I need a stretchy join.

  2. Stefanie says:

    Yes! Sometimes it’s about potential or personality fit even though one doesn’t have experience. I’m sorry you were affected by that comment. If they can’t look past what wasn’t on your resume then screw them. A better opportunity will be there for you.

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